When your mind wanders and you start losing yourself in your thoughts, what do you usually find yourself focusing on—the past, the present, or the future?
This graphic from Liz Tran provides a wonderful graphic to help showcase the impact of each of these spaces:
Within the past, you're leaning back into regret, depression, nostalgia, and shame.
With the future, you're stretching towards anxiety, worry, and fantasy.
But when you focus on the present, the here and now? That puts you squarely in a space of peace because where you are right now is where you are. This moment, the one happening now, is all you can control and account for.
Given that this is sometimes easier said than done, here are some reflection prompts to help you remain grounded so that you can move closer to focusing on the things that truly matter.
A reflection prompt if you usually focus on the past
How did my actions and decisions reflect the person I was at that time?
Am I that same person now? Why or why not? What has changed and what is the same about me or the context?
Why this question matters
When we evaluate the past, it's with knowledge and insight we currently have (after all, hindsight is 20/20). This often leads to a sense of "couldda, shouldda, wouldda"...
But is that truly fair to you and the situation?
(Spoiler alert: Not really.)
This question invites you to give yourself some grace as you consider what's happened and to be honest as you consider what's changed and what's stayed the same.
This is how you step out of the loop of how things could, should, and would be "by now" or "if only..."
A reflection prompt if you usually focus on the present
What do I enjoy about this moment? Why do I enjoy it?
What do I not enjoy about this moment? Why don't I enjoy it?
What can I realistically do to continue what I enjoy and to release what I don't? Am I willing to do those things?
Why this question matters
It's super easy to just go through the motions without stopping to consider what's happening.
For example, when we reach one goal, we may quickly look for the next one to tackle...
Or when we find ourself struggling, we may think that there is no end in sight.
This question invites you to identify what exactly is happening at any given moment so you can recognize what is and isn't in your control.
This is how you can better manage your expectations, better allocate your time, effort, and energy, and truly shape the life you're living.
A reflection prompt if you usually focus on the future
Is this something that I have to focus on right at this moment or will I be able to address this thing if and when it happens?
Why this question matters
This never-ending game of "what if...?" is something I see with my clients all the time and you might be playing it, too.
What if it doesn't work? What if I fail? What if I actually get the thing I've wanted for so long? What if I get it and it's not what I thought it would be? What if, what if, what if?
This question serves as a reminder that no one knows what will happen until it actually happens.
Sure we can guess and sure some things are likely... but at the end of the day you won't know until you know, so why not trust yourself enough to figure things out when and if that "what if...?" becomes "what now?"
Moving Forward
All we have is the here and now. You know this. I know this. We're all aware of this fact. And yet... sometimes it's still hard to remember. Sometimes it's easier to think back on the way things were, or to try and figure out how they will turn out.
Give yourself the sense of peace and remain present with these grounding reflection prompts. Revisit this post often, use them as a springboard to get to the core of what you're truly trying to uncover, and allow yourself to be surprised by what you discover.
If you want some more personalized support with recentering and moving forward, then let’s talk. Book a free consultation with me to discuss my 1:1 programs and how you and I can work together.